Monday, August 22, 2011

Change ahead...

One thing is for sure: this year has been the year of change in our household. Mom passing on, jobs ending and (hopefully) beginning. It has been hard. I have read a few books on grieving, none of them have been easy to stick with for any length of time. But one thing that is common in them, is that acceptance is very important and that you have to give yourself time to grieve. As the oldest of 3, I had a different experience with Mom than my brothers, but not too different. Just different enough.

The feelings, memories, and thoughts I've had are constant and for at least a month or two I did absolutely nothing with my life that was different. Now, with school starting and after a lot of reflection I am picking myself up again but it's hard. You see, I miss Mom. I miss her a lot.

This has been the hardest year of my life so far. I do not say that lightly.

But now, it's time to move on. This process of moving on I've read, will be tough. All good things are worth the struggle after all right?

I am ready for The New. New beginnings, new friendships (or the re-kindling of one's I had), and the new things that will help the moving along along. At Mom's funeral, there were some people there that I had never met but who Mom had made a tremendous impact on. As a teacher, I'd like to think I've had some influence on my students and staff I've worked with. They definitely, definitely made an impact on me and I miss them. I don't like the fact that I'm not in a classroom right now with students. I didn't want to leave them last semester, and will not like being without a class this year too. Kansas' state requisite scores have been very hard for me to overcome for some reason, even though my scores are great for many other states. This has had it's drawbacks and caused a lot of frustration.

But this, like all obstacles shall come to pass. That's what I keep on thinking, and I hope I can keep it up.

Thanks for reading.

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